OUT IN NATURE ALL WINTER LONG
I fully intend to be out in nature all winter long. This is a statement I’ve made a hundred times already and I’ll probably have said it a hundred times more by the time autumn turns to winter. After being outside for most of the summer, with a change in season the urge to spend as much time outdoors as possible is stronger than ever. Alongside the one that has me finding ways to do so whilst avoiding crowds of people too.
Thinking back to autumn and winter's past, I’ve realised that an ingrained habit of prioritising time at a screen over being outside was detrimental to both my physical and mental wellbeing… in ways I’m only just now beginning to understand.
In years gone by, once the morning school departure had taken place and the house was quiet again, I would head straight to my desk and set about whatever the day held. Even if there was winter sunlight shining through the windows and a crisp morning outside begging to be enjoyed, I would steadfastly ignore it.
Blinkered and intent on achieving whatever was next on the eternal To Do list, I would put work and everything else first, only eventually getting outside when it was time for mine and Biscuit’s daily sojourn around the village. I’m almost ashamed to say that, prior to fastening a lead onto an over-excited dog and getting out the door, I would often think of the dog walk as interruption to the flow of the working day. Once back home however, having enjoyed the quiet mind that comes with a walk in the fresh air, I was always glad we’d been out.
These last two weeks, I’ve been prioritising my mental health and have been sticking to taking a walk at the beach between 8:00 and 9:00am, whatever the weather is doing. And I’ve realised how much I missed out on during the years that have gone before. It’s with a sense of urgency that I feel the need to make up for lost time and redress the balance from here on in.
Pre-pandemic, I’d attempted to get back into running from January to early March using the Couch to 5k App. I’d leave the house on those freezing cold mornings, often just as it was getting properly light, and drive to the beach full of excitement for the challenge ahead. Looking back, the exercise was good for me and brought its own health benefits, but it was being outside that was the real clincher for me.
Even on the darkest of winter days, if I began the day with the smallest dose of vitamin D and as many lungfuls of fresh air as I could, everything else felt a little more manageable.
It's at this point that I feel a bizarre compulsion to fess up. One of the goals I was hoping to achieve from running was to shed a few pounds and supplement the dieting effort I was undertaking, having joined Slimming World. I kept that one pretty much to myself at the time for fear of being judged. Judged for both for wanting to lose some weight in the first place and for having to turn for help to the kind of business model that makes money based on (sometimes) our insecurities.
In hindsight I now balk at my reluctance to “come clean” and share what I was doing. At the same time, I remember that I will always retain the right to share parts of my life or not. But I do look back and feel a little angry that I didn’t have the balls to stand up and say what I was doing and why. I was doing it for me so that I could feel better about myself and a bit healthier in the process. Those things should never come down to caring about what people think… or choose to get into heated debates about on social media.
Ironic then that having worked hard to lose seven pounds between January and March, I went on to instantly drop another seven when COVID anxiety hit another level as we entered lockdown. Almost daily indulgences in bread from the village bakery and a burgeoning Monster Munch habit soon helped to redress the balance somewhat.
But back to the not caring part. What other people might (or might not) think about my choices is another item I’ve added to an ever growing list. I’m sure you’ve got one too - it’s almost improbable not to have this list when the last six months has done nothing but repeatedly highlight what truly matters. What matters is that my body and mind are healthy enough to provide as much support as possible as we traverse the months ahead.
Along with ten minutes of daily meditation, keeping up the nightly habit of gratitude entries in a notepad by the bed and choosing a few pages of a book over a mindless Instagram scroll; being outside A LOT forms part of my proactive plan. When I read what Louise at The Calm Folk had to say about being proactive as opposed to reactive when trying to manage anxiety, it instantly cemented what I was trying to achieve. I’m hopeful that her wise words will give me the tenacity to stick at it.
And speaking of the scroll, if you haven’t yet watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix then I urge you to do so - providing you’re in the right frame of mind to handle a few hard-to-digest truths. This last year or so I’d already made a few online habit adjustments but after watching and absorbing this, I’ll certainly be making a few more.
I digress.
On my gratitude list there is a regular entry in some guise or other that pertains to working at home for myself and therefore, the flexibility I’m afforded to take time for a coastal walk first thing in the morning. It's something, together with my geographical location that I’ll never take for granted.
But given the way of the world and how I feel right now, even if driven by the deadlines and demands of others, I’m certain that in order to preserve my sanity, I would still have to find a way to be outside more. Be it a lunchtime walk, an early morning run instead of heading to a gym or maybe an evening stroll… as well as factoring in at least one long walk at the weekends.
If I lived in a city I would head for the nearest green space. If there was a place on my drive home that afforded a few moments of calm, quiet and space to breathe, I would be sure to stop there and soak it all in. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
We have plans to string up lights in the garden earlier than normal this year and light the chimenea for outdoor evening warmth. I’m thinking of tempting the teen outside with the promise of S’mores under the stars - I’m fairly certain it will work. Perhaps on brighter days, a weekend breakfast out on the deck wrapped up in blankets, scarves and gloves, nursing first a mug of tea and then the inaugural coffee of the morning. A moment of bliss to be savoured.
Staring down the barrel of October, you’ll find me face turned to the sky, seeking out occasional sunshine or wrapped up against the elements, striding through winter, on toward spring. It’s not about wishing the time away… although there's no denying that hope for where we’ll be six months from now forms part of my daily thought process. So I try to balance this with remembering to bring every day into a sharper focus now and make memories.
Making the most of time, moments and days and finding the joy in every season, where and whenever I can.
If you need me, I’ll be outside!
