THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF MINIMAL RELAXED + EFFORTLESS
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Cursor hovering over the first Style Notes post, I found myself lost in a sudden maelstrom of thought - where the hell do I start and what should I cover first? As with most things that feel significant, beginning is always the hardest part… which is ironic when you think about my last name.
Eventually I decided that explaining what I mean with the mantra of Minimal, Relaxed & Effortless might be as good a point as any. After all, having given out your email address, you’ll want to ensure that you’re in the right place - not just for the style inspiration but the why’s that sit behind it - the connotations behind the clothing if you like. I find the nuances of what we put on and why, intriguing and rarely is getting dressed all that accidental - there’s usually a reason for everything.
After years spent yo-yoing back and forth between trends, must-haves and way too many hasty mistakes purchased under the influence of my fellow Instagrammers, ever so slowly, I found myself pulled toward the fuss free, clean lines and sometimes, pleasantly unexpected shapes of minimal dressing.
When I began blogging I think Facebook was the only social media platform I was aware of and I paid as much attention to it then as I do now - i.e. none. Back in the day, everything I absorbed about style came via blogs and magazines and whilst there were tribes, I never felt like we were attempting to package everything into neat boxes and label them as we do now.
The years passed and eventually, amid the frenzied exchanges of Twitter and the hashtag categorising of Instagram, I succumbed to the art of labelling and learned that I belong in the Scandi minimal camp - the one that borders Normcore, Menocore and just lately, Coastal Grandmother. These feel to me like they run gloriously into one another, giving me scope for EILEEN FISHER linen on the beach one minute and an oversized COS blazer in town the next… and everything that is deliciously effortless somewhere in between.
Social media labels aside and whether you feel the need to find yours or not, we all know what we like and it doesn’t really matter if what floats your sartorial boat has a label at all. What matters is how does it make you feel and what are you aiming for overall? I’m always targeting the territory of minimal, relaxed and effortless and to reach this coveted state of wardrobe nirvana, the six factors below have to come into play somewhere…
COMFORT
It’s key… whether the word makes you cringe or not. Does it make you uncomfortable to say you purchased something because it was “comfortable” to wear? If so, is that down to some deep rooted patriarchal BS that implies comfort dressing means maybe we’ve given up on ourselves? What kind of crap is it to think we can only be stylish if we’re dressed in something figure hugging? Urgh… I’m not here to unpack all of that - that would take a whole other website, never mind a single style blog post.
I’m here to say I embrace comfort dressing, it takes many forms and doesn’t only equate to elasticated waistband trousers… which by the way are not to be dismissed - I own several pairs and none of them resemble anything like the awful things my mum used to make for me as a kid! If you want the perfect example of how comfort can look really darn good then look no further than these. Not just for indoors - add a shirt, blazer and Converse and waft about in slouchy elegance all day.
Comfort is about fit and fabric which together, have a huge impact on how you feel when you go out wearing your chosen ensemble. Your multi-layered tulle skirt can look stunning to the observer in the room but if the waistband is too tight and you can’t breathe, let alone eat dinner, then you should’ve stayed at home in your PJs. In fact you can’t wait to get home to swap said skirt for those very PJs. True story. On more than one occasion.
If had to identify five comfort factor repeaters in my wardrobe, they generally fall under:
Sweaters, shirts and T-shirts that skim not cling.
Oversized tailoring in abundance.
Quality fabrics - cashmere, cotton, linen, silk, soft denim.
Jeans - always mid to high rise - more on that below.
Footwear - 95% flat or low block heel with the odd higher option in residence when minimal walking to a destination is required.
SHOP COMFORT TROUSERS
NEUTRAL
A mostly neutral wardrobe will fill some people with horror and I get it. Style is a form of expression and if you enjoy mixing prints and clashing colours then neutrals will feel drab and boring - beige may even be your insult of choice. But I adore the richness of neutrals - I live and breathe them and am that person who can agonise over fifty shades of white paint that could possibly end up on our walls.
When I compare getting dressed now to when the spare room cupboards were crammed full of colours, prints and patterns; now feels so much calmer and easier - less thought is required. And let's face it, in midlife there are way too many things requiring thought space - I don't want getting dressed to be one of them.
That said, I have been known to hanker for something in a rich russet hue on occasion (probably nearer chocolate brown if I’m honest) and maybe the darkest of olive greens too. I wouldn’t discount colour altogether if it feels right… and is worn against a neutral base. I still love a Breton top (I know - stripes in Navy Blue!!) and recently bought this one - it feels like I’m on a summer holiday when I wear it. I also acquired this blue linen shirt - although I wear it open over a white T-shirt to break up the intensity a little.
In some ways, when I do inject a tiny bit of colour I appreciate and enjoy it more but otherwise…I’m a neutrals girl. Don’t ever bother telling me I’m missing out or, heaven forbid, book me in for one of those find my colours sessions. But then you wouldn’t - otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
SHOP NEUTRALS
REALITY
Through the process of being a style blogger I learned the hard way about how important it is that 80% of what you buy has to work for the day to day and fit in with how you live your life. Not the life of the influencer who you saw wearing the pink ribbon tie shoes and giant paillette adorned top. You are not her and she is not you - she doesn't walk your dog and you don’t go to the events that she frequents. Again with the true story.
The sticking with reality conundrum can feel like a boring concept at first and is what gets a lot of women (Read: me) into the Jeans Every Day loop. Jeans and a shirt, jeans and a T-shirt, jeans and a sweater - they’re easy, they work and in the colder months, there’s little else on offer when you’re at home all day, only going out to walk the dog. I’ve found the best way to deal with it is to accept this and work with it in autumn and winter. Yes to all of the above but adding an oversized blazer and a pair of stompy boots makes it more exciting - for me at least. And on the days I am leaving the house to go somewhere then a pair of trousers feels like an adventure.
Back to jeans for a second - I feel somewhat vindicated that skinny jeans were declared no longer a thing at the point that my body shape changed. I swear I could hear thousands of Kate Moss fans putting away their ballet pumps, folding up their skinnies and saying “Thank fuck for that!” The thought of squeezing into a pair now makes me want to run in the opposite direction… although perhaps if I’d done more of that then, the skinny jeans wouldn't have been so intimidating!
I do have plenty of day to day reality dressing combos up my sleeve for future Style Notes posts but for this one, I’m sticking with jeans - specifically, the right ones. I favour a looser fit but not too flappy, wide but not flared, and the waist needs to be mid or high rise. Go for whatever shade you’re drawn to - I love off-white and black and will always wear my off-white and beige pairs throughout winter - the exception being rainy days. Mud splats don’t wash out.
Sometimes a barrel leg works and sometimes, cropped but not too cropped. I’m bloody fussy when it comes to jeans but shopping around and experimenting with the sizing in different brands really helps. As does ordering online and trying on at home - I refuse to do changing room jean shopping because I need to see what they work with in my wardrobe.
SHOP REALITY JEANS
THOUGHTFUL
In a time of fast fashion overload and subsequent push back from those that care, thoughtful dressing goes without saying. There’ll be no preaching or judgement here as I’ve purchased from a lot of fast fashion brands in the past and sometimes, I will still occasionally buy from H&M’s Premium section. But any purchase from any brand is always carefully considered, meaning that most things I’ve bought in the last few years, I still have and wear. About three years ago, I also picked up a pair of 90’s style, white jeans from New Look - it would seem they’re popular as they’re still being sold this year - and whilst I’m sure this would induce scorn from many, I wear them a lot and they’re lasting well too.
As you well know, the majority of my wardrobe is made up of pieces from COS and ARKET - both of whom are continually improving on their sustainability practices. Most people's budgets don’t run to a 100% ethical wardrobe if buying new and not everyone can pull off thrifting either. I’ve tried and honestly, just end up looking like my dear departed Nan. I don’t have the eye for it but hugely admire those who do.
I interpret thoughtful as trying to ensure it's a lasting piece, but if no longer required down the line, it’s either passed to a friend, sold on a pre-loved site or donated to a charity shop. At point of purchase I think about how much of what I already own will it go with it, does it fit with my style rules, how often will I wear it, does it look like it will last even if it is a fast fashion piece and can I just double check that I’m not buying it because I saw three people on Instagram wear it which must mean it's a thing right? Which leads nicely onto…
SHOP TIMELESS + THOUGHTFUL
HONESTY
What I see on Instagram and fall in love with and what I can actually wear are two very different things in a lot of cases. Which in my midlife, usually means, what will suit my shape now… which is not the same as the one belonging to size 8, willowy influencer gracefully hopping off the kerb at Copenhagen Fashion Week. Not that it ever was.
Some women go on through midlife and beyond retaining the shape they’ve always had - maybe it's genetic or maybe they work hard to do so - I am not either of those women. I am too fond of pasta, bread, cheese and wine… and not necessarily in that order or indeed as separate entities.
My shape has changed and at the point of writing, I would say I feel more conscious of this than ever. In an era of body acceptance which I fully support and agree with, I know this is something of a touchy subject but I’ll say it anyway because it’s my body and I am allowed to talk about it. I’ve put weight on more around my middle than anywhere else and a perimenopausal bloated tummy feels like a constant - I bloody hate it. I’ve never been considered “too thin” (apart from once or twice when weight has dropped off drastically due to stressful life events), but I don’t like the shape I am now, purely because of how my clothes (don’t) fit. I love clothes and want to be able to wear more of what I like - that’s the simple fact of it.
More thought to the right nutrition and an increase in movement are both vital for health in midlife and with a view to that, I have begun to make a few changes here and there but it’s a way to go until I’ll have my clothes fitting as I’d like. Unless a major life event hits me again (and I’d rather it didn't thanks), any amount of weight loss probably won’t come about with ease.
So I’m trying to learn some of that acceptance (it’s not easy), and to dress accordingly - sometimes going up a size in trousers or jeans means a much better fit, both in terms of comfort and appearance. Sometimes wearing tops loose as opposed to tucked in and an oversized blazer on top helps with overall proportions too. I’m grateful for my health, the fact that I have the worst perimenopause symptoms under control with HRT and that I’m a devout fan of the oversized fit anyway! Blazers, shirts, sweaters, T-shirts - I love them and they work for me on many levels. Again… more on these in later posts.
HEROES
When I thought about the minimal, relaxed and effortless elements, this one kind of snuck up on me if I’m honest. Because only recently, since I’ve found myself with the stripped back wardrobe I’d been craving, have I begun to entertain the idea of owning one or two hero pieces. Maybe it’s because I can now see the wood for the trees - my vision is no longer clouded with all the stuff I’d acquired from years of style blogging, thereby making me more open to a statement item.
What exactly makes something a hero piece is a bit of a conundrum - if it makes itself known I’ll be open to the concept but I don’t think I would go and actively seek it out. Mine might be different to yours but I’ll know it when I see it and I think there’s always room for a little of that unexpected in every wardrobe. Don’t over analyse it but snap it up if it materialises - you’ll know because it’ll feel like serendipity.
That, in a somewhat oversized nutshell (natch) is what’s behind my style mantra and all six elements will come up on repeat throughout Style Notes posts - whether in seasonal edits, specific outfit styling, where I find inspiration or the favourite brands that I buy from on repeat.
I’d be interested to know what the key factors/descriptive words are behind your style decisions or whether you prefer to take a more mood-led approach to what you let into your wardrobe. Maybe you’re looking to form a mantra to work with and are still deciding on what its building blocks are. Drop me a comment below, a DM over on Instagram or an email if you’d rather - it would be interesting to see if some things are universal to this stage of life.
HEADER IMAGES: via COS | Featuring: Leather Crossbody Bag | Barrel-Leg Drawstring Trousers | Tailored Silk Blazer
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