HERE'S WHY THE COASTAL GRANDMOTHER AESTHETIC IS JUST WHAT WE NEED NOW...
… AND WHY I’VE UNKNOWINGLY BEEN EMBRACING IT SINCE 2018.
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Isn’t it funny how life online turns on a dime? I mean, just when you think the Internet brings you nothing but an imploding pile of shizzle, it turns tail and offers up a hashtag that has unwittingly become part of your DNA and yet you didn’t even know it. That is until a TikTok influencer across the pond coined the phrase and sent it viral.
As I was cooking dinner this week and indulging in a surreptitious scroll whilst waiting for vegetables to roast, I spied a DM from a fellow Instagram friend across the pond - Leah Thomas. Leah had sent me Nancy Meyers’ latest post about the recent explosion of the #CoastalGrandmother aesthetic. Which, as an aside, proves that the all knowing algorithm knows diddly squat about what I want to see. I follow Nancy (because why wouldn’t I?) and yet Instagram had chosen not to share this piece of life enhancing information with me. Thank you Leah for doing a far better job than the Zuckerberg Bots are capable of!
Anyhoo - back to the vital importance of Coastal Grandmother. Much like Menocore, it places Diane Keaton and a host of Nancy Myers movies at it’s (meno)core and at first glance, looked like the perfect bandwagon for a coastal dwelling midlifer such as me to jump on. Upon closer investigation, light began to slowly dawn on bucket hat cloaked head - Holy Shit, this is me!
If you’re not familiar with the term, you might well be asking, do I need to live near the sea and be an actual Grandma? No and no… and not to state the obvious, there was an acknowledgment of relief on my behalf when it comes to the part about being a Grandma.
If you missed my excited spamming via Stories and are as yet unfamiliar with the term - it’s an escape aesthetic, born of clips shared by TikTok influencer Lex Nicoletta. Ironically, I imagine Nicoletta is young enough to be my daughter and therefore some way off this midlife phenomenon, but she makes the valid point that us Nancy Meyers movie fans who yearn for all the beach house vibes are in fact, Coastal Grandmothers. As is generally the case with something spewed forth via TikTok, the movement has rapidly grown internet legs and the general consensus is that you don’t have to take it all literally. It’s a bit of joyous fun to lighten the mood and aspiring to such a vibe appears to be symptomatic of the times we live in.
Seeking cosy comfort? Who isn’t after the last two years? Well look no further than Meryl Streep’s baker, Jane Adler in It’s Complicated, taking the time to prepare and cook a meal - whether it’s to be eaten alone at the kitchen counter, enjoyed with girlfriends over wine or served on a farmhouse table to children returning to the nest.
Want stylish, creative and marginally kooky? How about Diane Keaton’s Erica Barry, the turtleneck sporting, pebble collecting writer in Something's Gotta Give - simultaneously balancing the attention of hot young Doctor Keanu Reeves and Jack Nicolson’s aging lothario who previously only dated younger women. Including her daughter.
Both of these feel good movies are sprinkled with my favourtie brand of Myers Magic - the cosy, calm interiors, sunlit windows draped in voile, beds cloaked with layers of linen and huge refrigerators that are always filled with delicious leftovers. They induce the urge to make you want to fling your arms around your children before they grow too fast… and your credit card straight at those Etsy sellers who sell rustic homeware, linen napkins and oversized serving bowls.
1 Rattan Butler’s Tray - The White Company | 2 Iris Hantverk Bath Brush - ARKET | 3 Kitchen Aid Hand Mixer - John Lewis | 4 Linen Apron - H&M Home | 5 Handmade Mug - Etsy | 6 Wooden Salad Servers - H&M Home | 7 Handwash - Aesop | 8 Candlesticks - Etsy | 9 Replica Beach Vibes Candle by Maison Margiela - John Lewis
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Movies of this ilk, mostly from the directorial talents of Myers, and the feelings they invoke, are something I’ve sought solace in on the regular for the last few years - not without coincidence, as midlife began its approach. Her Coastal Grandmother protagonists inspire me to finally become that grown up woman - the one who’s been through a whole lot of life stuff, is surviving and coming out the other side. She knows exactly who she is, what’s important and she finally has her shit together. Most of the time at least.
Neither Adler or Barry are actually Grandmothers either but both appear to be divorced and wealthy - one with a beach house in the Hamptons, the other about to begin some seriously epic renovations on her already epic, Santa Barbara ranch style house. Clearly the fiction is way more glamorous and innately more simple than the realities of such a situation - the painful and messy parts are referred to in comedic terms and mostly glossed over for effect. And when it comes to these movies that’s fine with me. When I reach for my trusty DVDs, I’m there for the escapism, interiors, dialogue and food - not the gritty and grim. Nancy knows this and works it to perfection.
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Coastal Grandmother is both a vibe and a tribe. The vibe is most definitely about embracing the life you’re in and knowing what you unapologetically love - making the small moments beautiful - an approach I’ve always embraced but seem to have adopted more fervently in midlife. It’s about making life count and finding gratitude in the smallest of things. A feel good movement - one that whispers wellbeing, joy and nurture… without going full on Goop and requiring you to steam your vagina or partake of regular juice fasts.
As for the tribe - after seeing my Instagram Story ramblings from last night, my friend Lou messaged me early in the morning as I was writing this. She and I are sisters from another mother and the moment she saw it on Tiktok she thought of me and my overarching love for Keaton. Over on Whats App she wisely stated that it’s all about finding your tribe - women of our age whom we can relate to. And in some cases (mostly mine), obsess over. Since I started writing this, Keaton herself has championed the CG movement too - as if I didn’t love her enough already.
Finding others to identify with isn’t just the preserve of the younger generations - in midlife, it's a concept that feels more important than ever. I don’t mean to bring down the mood over a hashtag meant for joyous escapism, but after feeling sometimes feeling adrift these past few years, finding connections and women of my life stage I can relate to - fact or fiction, aspirational or inspirational - is the breath of fresh (coastal) air I’m constantly craving.
If you fancy a slice of the Coastal Grandmother action, next time you’re feeling low, blah or just plain Meh, dig out those striped pyjamas, order that seagrass butler’s tray and watch It’s Complicated and Something’s Got To Give in quick succession… it works… trust me.
THE COASTAL GRANDMOTHER WARDROBE
1 Linen Shirt - ARKET | 2 White Button Down Shirt - COS | 3 Belted Linen Shirt Dress - COS | 4 Relaxed Linen Stripe Dress - ARKET | 5 Linen T-Shirt - COS | 6 Drawstring Linen Trousers - ARKET | 7 SOHO Straight Cut Jeans - John Lewis Anyday | 8 Remy Slouchy Straight Jeans - Hush | 9 Roll Neck Sweaters - ARKET | 10 Ribbed Knit Hoodie - The White Company | 11 Tiered Broderie Midi Dress - The White Company | 12 Wide Leg Jeans - COS | 13 Kemi Telford Denim Dress - John Lewis
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If you want the lowdown then you’ve come to the right place - take notes because things are about to get full on Midlife Hamptons chic around these parts!
The White Company has been working the pared back, “I live on the coast but you won’t ever find any twee nautical references in my house or wardrobe” coastal chic look for eons. Their Hamptons vibe is pleasingly subtle and I love how their pieces work for every age. Don’t go for it head to toe, instead mix in a few of their classics with other brands and you’re good to go.
COS and ARKET, whilst being my goto for Scandi Menocore, also more than fit the brief when it comes to 99% of their staple items. Think about the basics of linen trousers, white button down shirts, T-shirts in every cut, linen dresses and of course the Coastal Grandma essentials of roll-necks, bucket hats, simple denim and chinos. Both are masters of a variety of Granny Sandals too - Coastal Grandmother embraces a multitude of Man Repelling elements and yet manages to repel no men whatsoever. Form an orderly queue please Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin, Keanu Reeves and Jack Nicholson.
Speaking of simple denim, I think the Remy slouchy straight jeans by Hush or the exceedingly good value Soho straight cut from the John Lewis Anyday range would more than suffice.
And finally, don’t forget your three essential bags - this one for the beach, this for trips to the Farmer’s Market and this one for everything else in the daytime. Should Coastal Grandma decide she won’t be cooking for everyone tonight and wouldn’t mind dining out, then this will be just fine.
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