THE VALUE of FINDING CREATIVITY IN MIDLIFE
spoiler alert: it helps the shittier parts feel less shitty…
[longer read]
There is way too much here to unpack in just one blog post – it feels like it could be a whole e-book. In fact, it kind of is - the one I started writing towards the end of the summer of 2020 and still have notes in draft for - maybe I’ll re-visit that at some point. e-Book aside, I’ll see if I can attempt to scratch the surface of why I value having a creative outlet right now.
Whilst working on the launch for Simply Start Living 2.0, I re-read an old post I’d written in 2017 called “The Importance Of Having Time To Create”… snorted with laughter and promptly deleted it. The words came from a previous version of me – the Online Stylist one - when I was juggling my own content creation with freelance deadlines and – surprise – working on an imminent rebrand to be launched in September of that year. The very rebrand that oddly enough, began the slow but sure demise of the Online Stylist era, leaving room for the seeds of Simply Start Living to be sown.
In said post I chortled on about how, mired down in actual work, I hadn’t had time to get creative and come up with any concepts to style and shoot specifically for Instagram. [Insert eye-roll emoji here]. Woe was me… and erm… how things have moved on. These days, ever-changing algorithms mean that creating content specifically for Instagram can end up feeling like a huge waste of time - unless of course, as we’re often told, you can hit upon that elusive Secret Sauce for a winning formula. I find the older I get, the less need I have for such condiments on my creative table - some sauces have a nasty habit of masking the true flavours of the really good stuff.
In the here and now, client work and this blog come a hard first and then, if I have time, leftover creative energy and feel like I’m in the mood for Instagram, I might have a dabble here and there.
I find the older I get, the less need I have for such condiments at my creative table…
Also, I talked about having a CEO Day and spending more time on strategy rather than the doing all the doing. [Insert ROFL & LMAO emojis should you feel the need]. Bless 2017 me and those glory, head-up-my-own-arse days of being a blogging Girl Boss eh? Now, if someone uses the word “strategy” anywhere in my vicinity, it makes me itch like a pair of minuscule nylon undies worn under skinny jeans on a hot summer’s day. Come to think about it, same goes for the word vicinity when you apply that analogy to it. One unexpected bonus of all this evolving malarky is that it presents numerous opportunities to take the piss out of some of your former selves. Try it sometime – those winter nights will fly by.
Back to the value of creative matters at midlife hand. Part of my mantra about flourishing in this stage of the game is how the passing years have taught me to pare back where possible so I can adjust and focus on what’s important. Creativity forms a huge part of what’s important and I still, to this day, feel immense amounts of gratitude that my work for the last fifteen years has been of the creative variety. Because in amongst the shittier parts of midlife thus far, to have something that demands I explore and tap into the creative parts of my brain has served as a welcome distraction and felt like a privilege and blessing in disguise.
Yes, there have been times - particularly when life throws it’s tougher hats into the ring - I’ve wondered how the hell I’m supposed to find anything remotely positive or inspiring to write about or photograph in an appealing way… and subsequently cursed myself for not having a real job. But I could count those occasions on one hand and that’s not a bad run for fifteen years. For all the other times, doing creative work has peppered the days with a sense of fulfilment and helped me honour the parts of life that are just mine. Not the mother, wife, family member, friend roles – the Me role where I can express myself in words, imagery, style and however else I choose. When I’ve felt far away from myself, creativity has slowly floated me back to the surface and shone some much-needed light on proceedings.
I’m aware that with H departing to university this September - how I feel about that could also be an e-book - life will need to re-form and adapt once again and I know that for me, keeping busy on the creative front will play a key role in that process. It’s weird to think that I started out on this journey aged thirty-nine when H was three and I began blogging to try and claim something for myself that was in no way related to being a mother - something to help me remember who I was before I even became a mother. And by the time I’m mid-way through my fifty-fourth year, I’ll be turning to creative distraction once more, but this time, as the tectonic plates of parenthood shift in the other direction. She’ll begin her own adult life and I’ll discover how it feels to witness her orbiting around me instead of my world revolving around hers. And yes… I realise that, no matter geography or circumstance, they pretty much always remain the centre of your universe, but I’m fairly sure the view and perspective will begin to feel somewhat different. Ask me again this time next year and we’ll discuss.
i never say never…because evolve is my middle name…
In terms of the creativity I enjoy, I’ve also come to realise that I care a lot less about what people deem to be a valid creative pursuit and how I go about it too. For many years, I’d catch myself looking at what my peers in the blogging and content creation industries were doing and wonder if I should be doing more of this or trying some of that. For sure I can see the benefits in trying a concept on for size… but only when I have the energy and impetus to give to it and if it feels like a good fit for me. Otherwise, I’m happy to stay in my own lane (2017 Girl Boss Me would have preferred “slay in my own lane”), paddling on at the pace I dictate, perhaps occasionally diving into something a little deeper when the conditions are right. I never say never - because Evolve is my middle name* - I just think trying something new should always be for the right reasons… and “Because everyone else is doing it” is not one of those.
On the flip-side of the whole “I Did It My Way” narrative are the unexpected benefits of how this kind of creative work has helped me to break down self-imposed barriers and challenge the constraints of who and what I’m supposed to “be” in midlife. Prior to the burgeoning conversations about age-positivity, the Grey Pound, menopause and women in their forties, fifties, sixties and beyond just being fucking awesome; being a mid-lifer looked very different. Fifteen years ago, would it have even been considered that women in this life stage could have a slice of the same tech-pies that were being ordered by the twenty and thirty somethings? Now, being an influencer, blogger, writer, podcaster, author, model, YouTube sensation or TikTok star is no longer just the preserve of those born post 1990. We can all give it a go if we want to. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a lot of playing field levelling to be done in any realm pertaining to age positivity towards women - including the digital content creation game - but the tide is slowly beginning to turn.
So, whilst I go away and contemplate those e-Book draft notes, make a pact with yourself that whatever it is that gets your creativity flowing - online or offline, virtual or real – be sure to carve out the time to nurture it.
Because if not now, then when?
*Caroline is my middle name, but I think I prefer Evolve.
photography: holly start
